Perhaps this is the second best craigslist "missed connection" I have ever seen. Only in Delaware?
I Plowed Your Driveway You Showed Me Your Tits - m4w (NCC)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2010-02-18, 3:25PM EST
Reply To This Post
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Well the headline says it all...It was early Sunday morning you were shoveling an enormous pile of snow. I plowed you out and was amazed at how sexy you were. As I finished and to my complete amazement you lifted up your sweatshirt to expose two perfect breasts. Your smile has been on my mind since then. I can't wait for it to snow again so I can see you again....
•Location: NCC
•it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 1606929327
Ahhh where to begin...The first thing I would like to say re: this ad is that I really, really wish I had seen this happen. I am dying to know what this woman looks like--dying to know. The dude who wrote the ad is easy to imagine; obviously a Larry the Cable Guy look alike. The "sexy" lady however, is perhaps, a bit more difficult. There are two things we need to keep in mind when constructing her image: 1. we are talking about a woman who voluntarily showed her boobs to a stranger during a snowstorm and 2. "sexy" is in the eye of the beholder. That being said, I am fairly confident in saying this woman has all of the following traits: bleached blond, stringy, wavy hair with major roots showing, heavy blue eyeliner, a smoker's voice, an orangish complexion with heavy pancake foundation, a fairy tattoo, and some rampant STD. I think the ad poster neglected to mention that she was wearing a sweatshirt with Tweety Bird on it, acid washed jeans, and chunky high-healed, black boots.
My favorite part of this posting is the ending, "your smile has been on my mind since then." Come on, is it really her smile he can't stop thinking of? Yeah I'm about 97% confident this gentleman would not have posted this ad if our lady friend had simply smiled at him. Ladies, let this be a lesson: if you really want to get noticed by a man, show him your boobies, and he will remember your smile.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
the response!!!!
After days of waiting my response from Starbucks is finally here. I'm not going to lie, I was a little (EXTREMELY) disappointed with it. Really, Starbucks? That's all you want to say?
Hello Alessandra,
Thank you so much for taking the time to write to us. I am very sorry that your latte was made with regular milk instead of soy.
I want to assure you that I will be following up with the store and its management team in order to ensure that we are making these beverages correctly. Unfortunately, I am unclear at which store this happened. If you could please respond to this email with further information about the store location (such as cross streets), this would help us greatly. Please also feel free to take a look at our store locator at http://www.starbucks.com/retail/find/default.aspx for store information.
What I would like to do, is to invite you back to our stores to have a drink done right. I would be happy to mail you some beverage coupons so that your next drink will be on us.
Thanks again for giving us the opportunity to fix this situation. I am sorry you were caused discomfort during your seminar. I assure you that we take feedback from our customers seriously and will use this as an opportunity to improve the experience for you.
If there are any questions or concerns that I have not been able to address, please don't hesitate to call us at 800 23-LATTE (235-2883), we are here Monday through Friday from 5:00 AM to 6:00 PM (PST).
Thank you,
Natalie Y.
Come on, Natalie Y! Don't you want to address any of my concerns other than "discomfort in my seminar?" I guess I was expecting a response more like this:
Dear Ms. Wood,
First of all that is the greatest letter I've ever received. I'm really sorry that you did not get a soy latte. Sometimes the workers in our stores are a-holes and don't listen to customers, but we still get business anyways!
This situation is way worse than ordering a non-fat latte and ending up with a 1%. Those people are practically complaining for no reason. I can tell by your letter that you are really pretty--it's totally worse for pretty people to fart in public. It's really an unfair standard. Seriously, why can fat people fart any time (or old people for that matter, but that's another topic) but pretty people have to suffer?
If I were you, I probably would've stopped by that Starbucks after class and let all my farts out in their store as I proclaimed "YOU DID THIS TO ME! Breathe it in, bitches!" I, however, understand that you wanted to handle the situation with tact.
In addition to giving you free latte coupons, we are going to try to change the social stigma against farting in public. We have discussed it with headquarters and are beginning the campaign to start a new law called "The Alessandra Law." This law, if passed by congress (make sure you call your congressman to tell him to support it), would allow all lactose intolerant people a sort of "free public fart." Basically, next time you let one slip out in public, you can just call out "Alessandra Law" and it will be illegal for anyone to make fun of you or laugh--if they do, they will get arrested. Of course, we need to make sure that the law isn't abused by people like Artie Lang or 14 year old boys, but we will work that all out because we are Starbucks, and yes we can.
You are so awesome, you should contact us anytime with your ideas.
Thanks,
Starbucks
Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's what they should have said to me...
Hello Alessandra,
Thank you so much for taking the time to write to us. I am very sorry that your latte was made with regular milk instead of soy.
I want to assure you that I will be following up with the store and its management team in order to ensure that we are making these beverages correctly. Unfortunately, I am unclear at which store this happened. If you could please respond to this email with further information about the store location (such as cross streets), this would help us greatly. Please also feel free to take a look at our store locator at http://www.starbucks.com/retail/find/default.aspx for store information.
What I would like to do, is to invite you back to our stores to have a drink done right. I would be happy to mail you some beverage coupons so that your next drink will be on us.
Thanks again for giving us the opportunity to fix this situation. I am sorry you were caused discomfort during your seminar. I assure you that we take feedback from our customers seriously and will use this as an opportunity to improve the experience for you.
If there are any questions or concerns that I have not been able to address, please don't hesitate to call us at 800 23-LATTE (235-2883), we are here Monday through Friday from 5:00 AM to 6:00 PM (PST).
Thank you,
Natalie Y.
Come on, Natalie Y! Don't you want to address any of my concerns other than "discomfort in my seminar?" I guess I was expecting a response more like this:
Dear Ms. Wood,
First of all that is the greatest letter I've ever received. I'm really sorry that you did not get a soy latte. Sometimes the workers in our stores are a-holes and don't listen to customers, but we still get business anyways!
This situation is way worse than ordering a non-fat latte and ending up with a 1%. Those people are practically complaining for no reason. I can tell by your letter that you are really pretty--it's totally worse for pretty people to fart in public. It's really an unfair standard. Seriously, why can fat people fart any time (or old people for that matter, but that's another topic) but pretty people have to suffer?
If I were you, I probably would've stopped by that Starbucks after class and let all my farts out in their store as I proclaimed "YOU DID THIS TO ME! Breathe it in, bitches!" I, however, understand that you wanted to handle the situation with tact.
In addition to giving you free latte coupons, we are going to try to change the social stigma against farting in public. We have discussed it with headquarters and are beginning the campaign to start a new law called "The Alessandra Law." This law, if passed by congress (make sure you call your congressman to tell him to support it), would allow all lactose intolerant people a sort of "free public fart." Basically, next time you let one slip out in public, you can just call out "Alessandra Law" and it will be illegal for anyone to make fun of you or laugh--if they do, they will get arrested. Of course, we need to make sure that the law isn't abused by people like Artie Lang or 14 year old boys, but we will work that all out because we are Starbucks, and yes we can.
You are so awesome, you should contact us anytime with your ideas.
Thanks,
Starbucks
Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's what they should have said to me...
Thursday, February 18, 2010
why i drink soy milk.
Last night I ordered a soy latte from Starbucks, that's not what I got. Unfortunately I didn't realize it until it was too late. Today I sent a letter to their customer service department to complain. This is what I said:
Dear Starbucks,
I am a frequent patron of your establishment. I very much enjoy ordering a double short soy latte, and sometimes I add a shot of toffee-nut syrup. Honestly, other coffee shops never make a soy latte as good as Starbucks--most don’t even offer soy milk as an option. Last night, on my way to class, I stopped to get a latte, an essential drink for a 7-10pm PhD-level seminar.
If you are wondering why I drink soy milk, it's because I’m lactose intolerant--not just some yuppie a-hole. You see, when I consume dairy products, I develop certain traits usually attributed to older, overweight, men--that’s right, I have extremely audible and horribly fragrant farts. Since we live in a culture where farting is frowned upon and very unacceptable, especially for an intellectual and pretty gal like myself, I avoid dairy products at all costs.
Well, last night I realized that my latte was not, in fact, a soy latte. Unfortunately the way I came about realizing this was not by tasting it, but rather the after effects of consuming it. Sometimes, you just can’t taste the difference, especially with the addition of a flavor shot.
As I sat in my graduate seminar, I developed a horrible stomach ache as gas bubbles floated inside of me begging to see the light. Unfortunately, it was neither the time nor place to let one rip, so I waited. Instead of paying attention to class I sat there in agony, waiting for the feeling to go away, knowing full well the only way to feel better was to let out a giant fart (and then a few more). As great of an idea as it seemed, I’m a smart cookie and I knew I’d never get away with it, so I just sat there holding in all that dairy-induced flatulence. Needless to say, I didn’t feel better until I finally arrived home to a judgment-free zone.
On behalf of all patrons who are lactose intolerant, please advise your Baristas to be extra cautious when filling soy milk orders. Sometimes it’s not just about how a drink tastes, but how a drink makes you feel. Lattes should make you feel great and not like you belong at a sleepover party with 14 year old boys or hanging out with Artie Lang. Until farting is socially acceptable, I will continue to drink soy lattes from Starbucks. I just hope next time I place my order I actually receive a soy latte.
Thank you,
Alessandra
I feel lucky for the person who gets to field this complaint. I can't wait to get their response...
Dear Starbucks,
I am a frequent patron of your establishment. I very much enjoy ordering a double short soy latte, and sometimes I add a shot of toffee-nut syrup. Honestly, other coffee shops never make a soy latte as good as Starbucks--most don’t even offer soy milk as an option. Last night, on my way to class, I stopped to get a latte, an essential drink for a 7-10pm PhD-level seminar.
If you are wondering why I drink soy milk, it's because I’m lactose intolerant--not just some yuppie a-hole. You see, when I consume dairy products, I develop certain traits usually attributed to older, overweight, men--that’s right, I have extremely audible and horribly fragrant farts. Since we live in a culture where farting is frowned upon and very unacceptable, especially for an intellectual and pretty gal like myself, I avoid dairy products at all costs.
Well, last night I realized that my latte was not, in fact, a soy latte. Unfortunately the way I came about realizing this was not by tasting it, but rather the after effects of consuming it. Sometimes, you just can’t taste the difference, especially with the addition of a flavor shot.
As I sat in my graduate seminar, I developed a horrible stomach ache as gas bubbles floated inside of me begging to see the light. Unfortunately, it was neither the time nor place to let one rip, so I waited. Instead of paying attention to class I sat there in agony, waiting for the feeling to go away, knowing full well the only way to feel better was to let out a giant fart (and then a few more). As great of an idea as it seemed, I’m a smart cookie and I knew I’d never get away with it, so I just sat there holding in all that dairy-induced flatulence. Needless to say, I didn’t feel better until I finally arrived home to a judgment-free zone.
On behalf of all patrons who are lactose intolerant, please advise your Baristas to be extra cautious when filling soy milk orders. Sometimes it’s not just about how a drink tastes, but how a drink makes you feel. Lattes should make you feel great and not like you belong at a sleepover party with 14 year old boys or hanging out with Artie Lang. Until farting is socially acceptable, I will continue to drink soy lattes from Starbucks. I just hope next time I place my order I actually receive a soy latte.
Thank you,
Alessandra
I feel lucky for the person who gets to field this complaint. I can't wait to get their response...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)