veet street shark meat

It's been a while since I've hit up the missed connections on craigslist; they are, by far, my favorite part of the internet. Today I found a great gem:

Blue Eyed Tattooed Man with Mullet - w4m - 25 (Wilmington)

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Date: 2011-04-20, 9:40PM EDT

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I met you last year at the beach a couple weeks after you got attacked by a shark. Your friends call you Veet Street Shark Meat, I think? Wish I knew your real name bc I can't stop thinking about you. Your mullet, tats, and eyes are so sexy. Thank God the shark didn't eat any of those things. Would love to talk sometime.
IF ANYONE KNOWS A VEET STREET SHARK MEAT, PLEASE OH PLEASE CONTACT ME! THANKS!

• Location: Wilmington
• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

When I first read this I was like "wow, did I have a dementia spell and forget that I posted this as a joke?" I'm pretty sure, though, that I did not post this. I was initially drawn to click on this wondrous post from the title "Blue Eyed Tattooed Man with Mullet." It's like someone knew exactly how to pique my interest. I almost fainted when I read the rest of this post. A SHARK ATTACK SURVIVOR, AN AMAZING NICKNAME, TATS, A MULLET, AND BLUE EYES!?!?!? CAN THIS MAN BE REAL? Veet Street Shark Meat just sounds too good to be true, and my mom always told me "if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is." I don't know, though, there is something about this that makes me want to believe Veet Street Shark Meat is real. He sounds so great, he has to be true; you can't make something that good up.

I really hope these two get back in touch. Based on Veet's physical description, I imagine their relationship would play out like a grocery store romance novel. She would gaze into his amazing blue eyes while running her hands through his flowing mullet all night. He would serenade her with stories of of his shark attack, and tell her how he punched it right in the head and rode his boogie board to shore to get away. She would tell him how glad she was that the shark didn't eat his hair, his face, or his tattoos. He would agree because he also thinks he looks amazing. The cover would look something like this.

Susan Johnson, if you are reading this blog, I think you've just got your next idea for a romance novel--you could use that same image, just place the lovers on a beach and re-title the book Veet Street Shark Meat: One Man, One Mullet, One Shark, and One Passionate Night.