I love Halloween. It is, perhaps, one of the greatest holidays ever. Not only do you get to dress up and pretend to be someone else, but people give you candy. In the past few years, there have been about a thousand pop culture references and tired jokes about girls dressing like sluts on Halloween. Yes yes, we all get it. On Halloween many girls unleash their inner slut and turn just about anything into a slutty _______.
The blank is most commonly filled in with animals or popular professions. Instead of masking the fact that you are dressing up as a slut by wearing a booty-short rendition of a cop's uniform (as if a police woman's ass would ever peak-a-boo with each step taken), why not dress up as a plain ol' slut. After all isn't that the ultimate goal anyways? Then when the men ask you what you are supposed to be, you can say "I'm a slut" instead of saying "I'm a cop." I'm pretty sure upon uttering those words, you will have all the male attention in the bar.
Now, if you need to be a slutty _____ because regular slut just doesn't do it for you, let me suggest a few excellent costume possibilities. I like to try to think of the least sexy person and then make a slutty Halloween costume, just to prove that anything goes for slutty _____. Take, for instance slutty plumber, slutty garbage collector, slutty grandma, slutty clown, slutty crack addict, slutty toddler, slutty Madeleine Albright, slutty porta-potty cleaner (rated #1 on Monster's grossest jobs), or slutty chicken sexer. These ideas are all like 10,000 times better than sexy nurse, cat, cowgirl, cop, or probably anything you can think of. Basically what I'm trying to say is: I have just compiled a list of the greatest Halloween costumes ever and anything you think of will be pitiful in comparison.
Wear one of my costume ideas and everybody will be happy because you get to dress like a slut and make a social commentary on modern Halloween practices.
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